From Yona

For my friend Joanna~ 

I left last Shabbat on cloud nine. It was such a perfect weekend; it was everything that I had hoped for for the Youth Shabbat at CAS. The Maccabeats were awesome, every detail was tended to with such love and care, and there were so many people that helped to make the weekend such a success. To all of you I am so very grateful...... 

Sadly the great joy I that I felt coming off of such a special Shabbat turned to heartbreak when I heard about the passing of my friend Joanna Bell. I have spent all week trying to wrap my mind around what happened, but it always ends in sadness and uncertainty. It is so very hard for me to understand how I could be standing and laughing with Joanna just last Friday and on Tuesday she was no longer with us. I went into the shul office several times this week and I thought to myself that this tragedy did not really happen, and the next time I walk into the shul office Joanna will be sitting at her desk, and when she sees me walk in she will whip out those delicious little chocolates she always had stashed in her desk, and we will eat chocolate and laugh, and then she will give me a very serious look and tell me "that I better email her my youth blast by Wednesday this week." And then she'll laugh and tell me that she reorganized all of my stuff once again and I will tell her that she is the most organized person I know. And in my mind that makes sense, because looking at Joanna's empty desk and thinking about what has happened makes no sense to me at all. 

As I sit by my computer and wait for Joanna's email reminding me about my youth blast I feel an ache in my heart because I know that it is not coming. But when I think about Joanna only the most happy and wonderful memories fill my mind. I feel very privileged to have known Joanna. She was the epitome of goodness, and warmth, and love. Coming into the shul office for me never felt like coming into work because Joanna was there. She would hold my babies, and take pictures of them, and then email me the pictures with cute little captions. We always shared some great snack that Joanna had brought in, and then we would talk about the youth program and she would give me all of these great ideas, and then she would just smile. Joanna loved music and she was always singing. When I wrote that silly song last week as a spoof on the Maccabeats song asking that people please RSVP to the event, of course I sang it to Joanna, and asked her opinion. She was so excited about it that she wanted to do a recording and have it on a pod cast. She said that I should write a song for the next youth event. I told her we could write it together, and she said "you bet!" 

The truth is that I could write pages and pages about Joanna, how special and loved she was by everyone who knew her. How she treated every program, every event, every detail, every Shabbat and holiday preparation at our shul as if it was her own. She has helped me in so many ways, and helped to make the youth program at our shul so much of what it is, and to her I am so grateful. 

Joanna...how do I end this letter? How do I say goodbye? I really don't know how to... Instead I will plant Marigolds this spring as I know that you love Marigolds. I will look up at the clear blue sky and think of your beautiful blue eyes and how they would shine when you smiled. And I will live life to the fullest...because that is what you believed in...and when that next youth event comes around I will write a song and know that we have really written it together. 

Love, Yona